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Spring Has Sproing

Tue, 07 Sep 2010 10:02:04 +1200

Spring has sproing! A pick and a punch for the first of September. I know I know that was a week ago. I’ve been busy busy busy - sewing socks and cart wheeling and all the usual. But isn’t it delicious when you look out your bedroom window and see: daffodils and tulips creeping up out of the ground, the lawn putting on a new green coat, silver pussy willow buds winking in the sun - on trees that only last week were as brown as Miss Sprott’s (school secretary) fav skirt. Hairy animals are moulting, baby birds are chirping and little lambs are jibber-jabbering. The snow is still on the mountains in my neck of the woods, but spring is in the air. Party-on LM xx

Eat Cupcakes & Help the Animals

Fri, 27 Aug 2010 13:22:37 +1200

Hey all your dog, cat and pet pig lovers out there. Have you heard about the SPCA
Saving-Pets-Is-Cool-Club, and their crazy cupcake day on Monday. Me and Angelica have already baked 36 of our pig-a-licious pink vanilla cupcakes. To truly pigify them we’ve added soft pink icing, one marshmallow for the snout, two carefully sculpted marshmallows for ears, two currants for piggy eyes, and finally a swirly pink icing tail. Make the icing sloppy to help the marshmallows stay in place. Wow the end result is so cute and piggy I’m surprised our cupcakes don’t oink oink oink like Rocco (my little brother) can. Better fly (like a pink pig) we need to draw and colour in our posters to put up at school. $1.00 each it’s a steal. All money goes to help save the pets people take home then decide not to look after properly. Did you know… Some people just leave their pets, on the side of the road when they go away for a summer holiday. That would make you feel really bad about yourself, even if you only have a dog or cat brain to do the feeling. Help the animals – eat more cupcakes. LM xx. ps must ring the radio for a spot of free advertising oink oink
pps. I hope you're ok reading my extra wide format, my return key is stuck!

The Language of Burp!

Mon, 23 Aug 2010 13:46:53 +1200

We made mum a cake-of-Neapolitan i.e. vanilla, strawberry and chocolate mixture swirled together, with roses-of-icing on top. It was delicious and delumptious (due to the lumps of flour that Angelica forgot to mix in properly). Mum cut the cake, with her ancient silver cake-slice that has a picture of ERII on it. ERII is not a code for a personalized plate it means, Elizabeth Regina (funny latin word meaning Queen) the second. Granny Moss brought it back from London about 100 years ago. THEN we drank a toast. Which is a silly saying because you can’t drink Toast - it if you tried to, it would get stuck in your throat – what mum and dad actually drink on birthdays is a drink called Champagne. Dad let me wiggle the cork out of the bottle and it flew across the room and hit Spider (our dog on the head) so there was a loud pop then a yowl. And because I was aiming the bottle at a 45 degree angle (we’re doing angles in maths) a spurt of champagne sprayed over our brown-made-by-village-women-in-india-floor-rug. It looked quite magical but mum shrieked and said o-m-gosh it’s French – meaning the champagne cost-a-lot and she shouldn’t waste it. She got on her hands and knees, and probably would have sucked the rug, only the champagne had already sunk in. We clinked glasses and I took a swig of fizzy water, which went into my stomach in one big bubble of air, so when I said - sorry Mum - it came out in burp-talk-language! So that’s how you do it, I said to mum. Then Angelica, Rocco and I all started taking gulps of fizzy water and air and practicing the language of burp. Mum said, you guys are pathetic, took a big swig of her drink and burped happy-birthday-MaryJane-beat-that-kids. Quite an achievement of 10 syllables/7 words. Definitely something to aim for! I love birthdays. Laters LM xx

My Dog's Epic

Thu, 12 Aug 2010 11:38:24 +1200

Howdy-hi. I just made one of
the DOGS (instructions below)
and if I do say so myself - he’s
epic. Angelica made one out of
an old flannelette pillow case and
she says hers is epic-er (I’m not
sure that’s a word). We made
them for mum, coz its her birthday.
Dad gave her these cool shoes
made out of old pink eiderdowns
(quilts) and vegetable leather
(not leather from a cow or a goat).
They are a special brand of recycled designer shoe called Terra Plana,
which are better for our planet
because they use less shoe parts
and less shoe glue. How cool.
I hope they haven’t worn out by
the time my feet fit them.
Better go help dad with the bday
cake – I’m best at creaming the butter and sugar (and eating it). LM x

How to Sew a Dog...

Thu, 05 Aug 2010 09:32:04 +1200

It’s pimps. All you do is: get
1 piece of thin paper, then
draw the outline of a dog,
(make the ears and legs thick
so you can cut them out easily).
Then you pin the dog-drawing
onto a piece of fabric (I used
an old piece of gold velvet) &
cut out 2 pieces (one for each
side of the dog).
Next you pin the dog together
right side to right side. And stitch
around the edge with a threaded
needle, unless your mum has a
sewing machine. Leave a gap so
you can turn your dog right way round, and stuff it with rice, or feathers or an old sock, then stitch-up the stuffing hole. Next sew on buttons for eyes, make a collar (felt is good) with a name disc eg. Daisy Dog, add ear flaps, a chain necklace, toe rings - anything you like really!Good luck. Make one for a friend or your little brother… If you can read you
can SEW. LM xx

Oh My Golliest Gosh

Fri, 23 Jul 2010 10:16:55 +1200

Oh my golliest gosh I repeat.
Important News: Last night,
when I was getting the washing
up liquid out from under the sink,
I spotted, out of the corner of
my little eye, the teeniest red
purple wriggling thing on the floor.
I zoomed in to examine the wild
animal closer, only to be filled
with untold amounts of joy.
It was a baby worm. Bob, Job
and Dogs’ child.
There is life after death.
LM x
ps. Don’t worry BeJuG is back
in his/her milk container with
a fresh piece of lettuce and a
drink of water.

RIP Bob, Job and Dog

Thu, 22 Jul 2010 13:02:31 +1200

My mum is a good mum
but not a good worm mum.
She forgot to feed and wet
the worms for 2 weeks. All
that time they were starving
under the sink. All alone with
themselves. That’s so sad. Bob,
Job and Dog are the second, third
and fourth members of my family
to perish. The first was Mrs
Bobdobolina our cat (mother of
current cat-pet Barbie). Mrs Bob
used to look at you like she knew
exactly what you were thinking.
Mum says, she used to sit under my
bassinet when I was the tiniest six
pound baby screaming my head off.
Sort of protecting me. There was a
smell of fart when we buried dead Mrs Bob under the apricot tree. There was only a smell of mud inside Bob, Job and Dogs’ milk container home.
Farewell worm friends LM xxx

The meanest trick I've played

Wed, 07 Jul 2010 12:55:10 +1200

Well it wasn't that bad...
One april fools I made
Angelica a mustard and
white bread sandwich.
She thought it was going
to be honey. So she bit
into it excpecting a lovely
sweet yummy taste and
instead she got a hot
stingy taste. Oops.
I wouldn't do that again,
because I felt quite bad
when she had to puke some
up.
How are the school holidays
going? I have snow around
my house. How about you?
LM xx

My Mum is afraid of worms

Wed, 26 May 2010 12:34:50 +1200

Mum was very polite when Angelica
gave her the worm present.
Thank you sweetie. "Worms –
my favourite," she said. (NOT).
Mum hates worms because;
a long time ago her brother put a
worm in her ham and lettuce
sandwich as a joke (bad joke).
Then her brother said
“Mary Jane something wiggly
is coming out of your mouth.”
When my Mum looked down her nose,
she went cross-eyed and saw not one,
but two mini pink snakes looking up
at her. She spat out her mouthful
toute-de-suite and screamed,
"Johnathon I hate you."
Apparently the worms just tasted
of dirt. LM
ps has anyone ever played a mean
trick on you??

Wiggly Worms Under the Sink

Mon, 24 May 2010 14:52:26 +1200

Angelica brought home a
surprise for Mum. It
turned out to be a worm farm
consisting: of wet brown
leaves, mud, potatoe peelings,
carrot peelings, some parsley
and three worms named -
Bob, Job and Dog mixed
together in an old milk container.
Apparently Bob, Job and Dog
will soon multiply.
We will know when this has
happened because there will be
small bits of worm in the container
under the sink.
Worms don't need mums and Dads.
They don’t eat much either. LM
ps. anyone know a worm joke??

How did the doofus break his arm??

Thu, 06 May 2010 13:39:00 +1200

Pinch & a punch & hairy-rabbits
for the 1st of May. I know
I know that was five days ago.
What have I been up to?? I've
been busy busy knitting a woolly
scarf, because it’s winter in my part
of the world.
This morning Angelica pulled
back the curtains to give the morning
weather report and said: frosty grass,
sunny sky, and not at all breezy.
Then she turned on Kidz Club
Radio. It was Ring-in with your
best joke day. ‘How did the doofus
break his arm when he was raking leaves?’
I don’t know how did the doofus
break his arm when he was raking leaves.
‘He fell out of the tree. Get it?’
Except the radio guy didn’t get it.
Even I’d worked out that the doofus
(ie. really stupid person) must
have been sitting IN the tree raking leaves in order to fall down and
break his arm. Maybe not the
funniest joke of all time. But Angel
had chosen it out of a book of 1002
best ever jokes for children,
so it must have tickled her
funny bone.
Has anyone out there got a
totally hilarious joke they
want to share in the comment
section? (just write the maths anwer
in words eg. four plus four equals
eight) pimps
Soonest cupcakes LMxx

Yo Easter Bunny

Sun, 11 Apr 2010 11:11:18 +1200

My note had nothing to do with
sequins or sewing. It said,
who wants to put-in to get
Mr Dot.com an easter egg??
He can have some of my
Easter chocolate. I always
get way too much, said
Johnathon Murphy.
Too much chocolate. If only.
I’ll probably have to buy my
own, I lamented.
Write to the Easter Bunny
and ask for some, said Angelica.
Tell him how creative and
helpful you’ve been.
Yeah like your April fools joke
in the girls toilets, says Hortense Murgatroyd (the school bully).
We all know that was your
glad wrap Hortense.
Dear Easter Bun Bun, I love
chocolate and I have been
good all year. Love you Lily Max.
As Dad says, I'm forever the
optimist
ie. the kid always expecting
good things to happen to them.
You bet! LM

no notes in class

Thu, 25 Mar 2010 13:44:22 +1300

I didn’t prick myself and die
in the night. But I did dream
about sewing sparkly rainbow
sequins onto our school banner
for the interschools sports.
So when I got to class I asked
Mr Dot.com (our teacher) if we
could sew sequins during first
period. He said, no sorry Lily
Max, I love your ideas but today
we have to test spelling, maths
and reading.
Oh, moaned the class.
Can’t we stitch sequins instead -
it would be very good for our
fine motor skills, said Johnathon
Murphy. FMS are slower to
develop in boys than in girls.
Thank you for the useful tip
Johnathon.
Please can we Sir, I begged.
Shake of head and you've-got-
to-be-kidding stare from Mr
Dot.com. So I passed round a
note.... LM

something crazy cool and blue

Wed, 24 Mar 2010 12:40:34 +1300

Well I might be ex-ager-aa-ting.
But there I was sitting up in
bed, sewing a patch over a
hole in my gym tights, when
I had a vision... the rainbow
coloured sequins I was stitching
on top of the patch, suddenly
became all blurry and turned
into a rainbow coloured fish,
darting about in an aqua blue
ocean. Next thing my needle
and thread were sewing sequins,
in a hap-hazardly fashion all
over the ocean of
my duvet cover.
As I became more and more
mesmerized by the cacophony
of colour my sequins were
creating, Mum popped her head
into our bedroom and said, lights
out girls it’s very late. And don't
prick yourself with that needle
Lily Max, you might not wake
up.... True that's exactly what
she said. Like I was Snow White
and she was the wicked
stepmother. A1 on the scale of
weird or what? LM

At the back of the front

Tue, 23 Mar 2010 13:03:23 +1300

One thing I find weird about
reading blogs, is that if you
want to start at the beginning,
you have to go to the end.
It's the only way you will
understand why we were
talking about Patagonia
and pinky bars a couple
of days back.
And why it was my turn to
do something
crazy.....LM

The land of milk and chocolate

Tue, 16 Mar 2010 13:02:39 +1300

Angelica was more serious about
running away than me and Dad
realized. She managed to walk
a long way for someone wearing
toerags.
As night fell in the valley
we found her, down the road,
huddled under a tree.
Did you find the land of chocolate,
Dad yelled out (with major relief
sounding in his voice)??
Nope, replied Angelica.
Best come home for a hot choccy
then, he said.
And a pinky, said Angelica.
OK, said Dad.
Shouldn't you be telling her off
for running away, I said.
We'll cross that bridge when
we come to it, said Dad. Jump
in my little tramper.
...This pinky-incident made me think,
disobedience does have its rewards.
No one offered me a pinky bar
(pink marshmallow covered in
chocolate) for being the oldest and
most sensible-est kid that day. LM

Why Patagonia

Thu, 04 Mar 2010 13:44:42 +1300

Do you know why Angelica wants to
go to Patagonia Dad?
No. Enlighten me.
She thinks everything in the land of Patagonia is made out of chocolate.
That would make sense.
No it wouldn’t.
Yes it would. Wouldn’t you tramp for
days, in linen toe-rags if you could
bathe in a big tub of hot chocolate at
the other end?
I suppose so.
Touche

Angelica is moving to Patagonia

Tue, 02 Mar 2010 15:22:00 +1300

Angelica sometimes finds it hard to cool
down if she hasn't got her own way.
Not going to India's sleepover is an
excellent example.
So while she is popping her top she
stuffs her pj's into her duffle bag,
storms down to the kitchen and
asks Dad if she could have some
toe-rags because she's tramping
to Patagonia. NOW.
Dad calmly says, wait a mo let me
see if I can find some your size.
Then he wraps her toes in two white
linen napkins that Granny Moss
embroidered for Mum. And says,
would you like to take a water
bottle and a bunch of grapes - it might
get hot.
Angelica says yes, without the please.
Grabs them and marches into the
garden.
You shouldn't encourage her I say to
Dad.
Well you can lead a horse to water
but you can't make them drink, he says.
What's that got to do with tramping
to Patagonia, I say.
Dad just smiles and yells out to Angelica - Careful out there pet.
Strange LM X

Angelica's in trouble

Mon, 01 Mar 2010 15:18:33 +1300

Angelica hears Dad say on the phone, to India's Mum that she can’t come for a sleepover, because she’s being a little toe-bag.
Next thing Angelica yells, Dad I don’t even own a toe-bag. So how can I BE one. And what would I put in my toe-bag if I did own one? Toe socks? Toe rings?
Dad sighs, and says you’ve been a toe-RAG and you’re still being one.
What’s a toe-RAAAG then? When it’s at home, says Angelica, not very angelically.
A toe-rag is a rag that beggars wrap around their toes to help with blisters when they’re tramping about. Would you like to borrow some to get down to your room for a rest?
No...slam of door.
And Angelica was sent to bed with no supper. Nah kidding that only happens
in fairytales. Isn't it good when it's not YOU being in trouble at your house. LMx

Summer Holidaze r ova..

Fri, 19 Feb 2010 14:21:03 +1300

I know I know. Where on
earth have I been??? Well
I haven't been to London
to visit the Queen. No, I've
been at the beach, up to my
neck in sand. Sounds yukky.
But it's extremely quite
pleasant to be buried in
damp sand, like an
E G Y P T I A N, on a hot day
at the beach.
Now I'm back home and
rushing off to school -
that is yukky.
LM xx